IGNORE

Guess I've made the worst mistake.
Once again, I give and you take
Things that will never see
The world that we couldn't make.

I had acted in so much haste,
And found that there was no more to taste
As there had been like before-
And no more can our hearts be laced.

Well, I should probably start at the begining.
Many of you know a boy named bryce harp. well, long before he went to waverly, he went to janesville. He was always sort of a jerk. it started in 3rd grade, when he starting taunting me. he sort of sucked at insults, so i got pretty good at ignoreing him.
but eventually, his insults became meaner and meaner. over the years, he got to know me, and was able to use more personal things to get to me.
it got so bad that i even punched him and gave him a black eye. i gave up on ignoreing him and let him get to me.
For some reason, i let everything he said hurt me. i ran out of class crying multiple times. sometimes, i even skipped school. he made my life hell.
but i'll never forget the day i found out he was moving. it was like seeing a rainbow, after a long rainstorm. my life suddenly improved.

But one good thing can usually mean another bad thing for me....

That same year, my parent's usual bickering got worse. They would scream at each other every night and i would have trouble sleeping. When i confonted my mom about it, she told me to just ignore it.
But every night, it got worse. One time, my mom drove me to a hotel just outside of waverly, where we spent the next four nights alone. And whenever the fights were especially bad, i would call brianne. Just hearing her voice got me through most of it.<3
I became desperate. I prayed that they would just get a divorce. That seemed like the only solution that would make it all end. But eventually, i realized: If they got a divorce, neither one of them could afford the house alone. I'd have to move.
Lately, my mom has simply ignored my dad's rude remarks. She was trying so hard to keep our family together, and i really respect her for that.

I do not know what is in store,
And I shiver at the thought 'ignore'
Since your eyesight is all I need-
While living seems like a chore.

Next, I met Sam. You could say I was rather desperate, so i said yes. I was desperate to know that there wasn't something wrong with me and that someone could truely like me.
Immediately after we started dating, everyone constantly questioned me about him.
i heard things like:
"did he drug you?"
"I didn't know you were a lesbian..."
or just plain "Ewww!"
People I didn't even know began taunting me about him. I was trying to ignore them and find out for myself if i liked him or not. But eventually, I caved. I couldn't stand it anymore, all the constant judging and the acid stares i got. I broke up with him at the dance, but something seemed wrong. It didn't come as a relief to me, like i assumed it would. I was deeply depressed.

After the breakup, we tried to stay friends. But for some reason, we couldn't have a normal conversation without akwardness. We fought on and off, and then finally, we had the big fight. It got all the way down to him saying "I no longer care about you OR your feelings" and then i called him a manwhore. We haven't spoken since. I try to just ignore him, when i see him in the hallways or at concerts. I haven't spoken a word to him since the fight.

Sometimes ignoreing is not the easiest thing to do, but its usually for the best. When it comes to the Whoredons, or the Sam Epleys in our lives, we all know it would be funnest to trip them on the ice, or hack a lugi in their backpack. But in the long run, it usually makes it worse. If you learned anything from this blog post, i hope that you learned this:

Ignore.

Whether you want to or not,

Ignore.

Never had I meant to take the lead
Of such a dangerous role, I beg and plead,
But my words are heard with none.
And so I've sewn my unluckiest seed.

I did not like the warmth of the sun
When the world began to run,
And thus began the thoughtless dance
Of waiting for just one more chance.