Exerpts from my Diary

I Want You Back Now that You're Gone
I want you back now that you're gone.
My heart's a pit no love can fill.
I stumble through my days of stone
Bereft of joy, bereft of will.
I could not tell myself I loved
You as I did for fear of pain.
Far easier not to be moved,
Than moved to love, and hurt again.

How stupid!
I loved anyway,
And now the blame is all my own.
Please rescue me, this torture stay,
And for my sin I will atone.


Mistake
Guess I've made the worst mistake.
Once again, I give and you take
Things that will never see
The world that we couldn't make.

I had acted in so much haste,
And found that there was no more to taste
As there had been like before-
And no more can our hearts be laced.

I do not know what is in store,
And I shiver at the thought 'ignore'
Since your eyesight is all I need-
While living seems like a chore.

Never had I meant to take the lead
Of such a dangerous role, I beg and plead,
But my words are heard with none.
And so I've sewn my unluckiest seed.

I did not like the warmth of the sun
When the world began to run,
And thus began the thoughtless dance
Of waiting for just one more chance.


Is It Too Late?
Maybe it’s too late
For what I’ve got to say
Long time has passed
Since I have been away.

I’ve been a jerk
And messed up too much
But here I am again,
Hoping to repossess your touch.

Things were on my mind
But now I’m all clear
I can’t stop thinking about you,
And I want to be here…

Here…with you, if you give me a chance
A last chance to do right at last
We can start all over again,
Even relive our past.

I promise I’ll do my best,
‘Cause I want this to work out,
I know I’ve not really been a princess,
But I want you to know that you’re someone I can’t do without.

You may ask why,
Why this sudden change of view.
The answer is, I realized,
How much I’m in love with you.

Maybe it’s too late
And you’d just like to be my friend.
But I want to tell you that this time,
Good things won’t come to an end…


I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken - and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

<3 Heidi